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Thursday, April 18, 2013

When Did Prom Become First Wedding?


When I was in high school no one went to prom. It was considered uncool (yes they still use that word today) and we skipped it went out and met up with everyone afterwards. There was no safe, tightly controlled environment and we all did things and drove and I feel blessed to be alive.

But aside from that is it reality TV that has turned the prom into the wedding and the bat mitzvah into Cinderella's ball? Or is all just a pure merchandising ploy to get parents to spend money they don't have on over priced dresses with "The Label" at a time when our daughters are so heartbreakingly beautiful they would look amazing in green garbage bags.

I vote for the latter. Sick to death of reality TV trying to pretend that the people who use spoon fed lines and have just oh so many dilemmas and mini-traumas and not so mini-traumas are interesting. Keeping Up with the Kardashians? Need I say more.

Prom should be an experience - not a designer set. The asks are a big deal now and there is a sweetness to that I cannot deny. My son asked his girlfriend to prom at the scene of their first date - Pot Belly's - with the song they danced to playing - La Bamba - with the management's help. He was supposed to play the song on the guitar and sing it but dislocated his shoulder the night before.

His date's dress will likely be home made, partly because she's an artist and very talented, and partly because by selling her art she is raising the money to pay for the materials. Now that's retro don't you think?

We are eschewing the limousine for the bus and one of the parents will do the 4:00 AM pick-up after the after party.

Can I guarantee it will be a sober evening - not really. Am I hopeful - yes. Can I guarantee my son will not get behind the wheel of a car - definitely. So I can't really rant - except about the money.

And the world that makes our daughters believe that prom is the most important night in their life so far - really - at least until the wedding.

What about celebrating for who we are, what we have, how lucky we've all been and the bright future ahead. A way to say a fun goodbye to old friends on the way to making new ones. Isn't that what prom is supposed to be?